The 89th Academy Awards Online Entertainment Betting

August 29th, 2019 Online Entertainment Betting

There are many online entertainment betting questions regarding the 89th Academy Awards, some which will be answered, and other which won’t. For example, why are there 10 movies nominated for best picture but only five guys nominated for best director? Anyway, here are some of this year’s candidates. No spoilers ahead. Seriously. We haven’t seen any of these movies.

Best picture
Arrival :  A Contact rip-off best known for misplacing Shanghai’s Oriental Pearl Tower in Honk Kong on its posters.
Fences:   The Academy’s way of saying, “hey, look how ethnically diverse we are!”
Hacksaw Ridge:   The story of a Seventh-day Adventist Christian combat medic who refused to carry or use a firearm or weapons of any kind during WWII.
Hell or High Water:   A neo-Western crime thriller starring Jeff Bridges and Chris Pine.
Hidden Figures:   The Academy’s way of saying, “hey, look how ethnically and gender diverse we are!”
La La Land:   Arguably the odds-on favorite and that’s based only on the sheer force of Ryan Gosling’s and Emma Stone’s combined physical attractiveness.
Lion:   Already used the “hey look how diverse we are” line? Oh, used it twice? Okay, moving on.
Manchester by the Sea:   Another online entertainment betting, starring Ben Affleck’s brother Heath Ledger’s quasi-widow, and that guy from Friday Night Lights.
Moonlight:  A movie with an African-American protagonist known as ‘Black.’ A little too on the nose, wouldn’t you say, Academy?

Best Director
Damien Chazelle:   As a writer he inflicted The Last Exorcism Part II and 10 Cloverfield Lane on an unsuspecting public, but as a director gave us the masterpiece that is Whiplash.
Mel Gibson:   A versatile filmmaker who has dabbled in many genres – drama (The Man Without a Face), epic (Braveheart), Christianity (The Passion of the Christ)
Denis Villeneuve:   A decorated French Canadian director whose future projects (Dune adaptation, Blade Runner sequel) seem to suggest as career-death wish.
Kenneth Lonergan:   Co-wrote Analyze That and Gangs of New York in the same year. How does that even happen?
Barry Jenkins:   The winner of the diversity sweepstakes for best director nomination.

Best actor
Casey Affleck:   Trying to finally step outside big bro Ben’s shadow.
Andrew Garfield:   He’s The Amazing Spider-Man; no wonder he doesn’t need any weapons.
Ryan Gosling:   A former Young Hercules and Mousketeer.
Viggo Mortensen:    Long gone are the days of his collaborations with David Cronenberg, but Aragorn still has it.
Denzel Washington:   It’s Denzel so we’ll spare him the diversity spiel. He most likely does deserve to be nominated.

Best actress
Isabelle Huppert:   No, she didn’t sell out. The film for which she’s nominated is a French-Belgian-German co-production.
Ruth Negga:    You may have missed her in 12 Years a Slave where her scenes were deleted.
Natalie Portman:    She wasn’t going to get a nomination for producing Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, so might as well get one for acting.
Emma Stone:   Was in 2014’s best picture (Birdman).
Meryl Streep:   The online entertainment betting favorite but isn’t she always?

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